


do you ever?

by consistently_inconsistent



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: (Jay doesn't think so), Character Study, Established Yang Jungwon/Nishimura Riki | Ni-ki, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jake is barely in this one bb im so sorry i love you :(((, Light Angst, M/M, Park Jong Seong | Jay is Whipped, Park Jong Seong | Jay-Centric, Park Jongseong | Jay is in Denial, RIP, Sunghoon is just amused, a little bit of ice skating!!!!, and a little bit of crying im sorry, and his own feelings ofc, anyway wonki jayhoon superior, because while i love and adore idol psh skater sunghoon will always be missed :'), but its note too much, but they're getting there, just 10K words of jay panicking over the kids growing up, listen how can you not ship them after all the finger heart selcas???, literally stopped all my fics to write this because the wonki selca's are too cute, maybe not love quite yet cos they're kids, mostly cos wonki are iconic and i might write a follow up abt them, mostly jay pov but there's a lil bit of jungwon at the end, they're adorable???, wonki are adorable and in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27241072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consistently_inconsistent/pseuds/consistently_inconsistent
Summary: "They're kids!" Jay splutters, "kids I tell you!"Sunghoon laughs, making his nth coffee of the day. "Technically Jungwon is only 2 years younger than us.""Well, Ni-ki's 3 years younger than us!"Sunghoon laughs again, walking over  and patting Jay on the back, before sitting down next to him. Sunoo, who's sitting across the two of them, grins, "I can't believe you're taking this worse than Heeseung Hyung and Jake Hyung, like, their kids are dating each other.""Heeseung cried," Sunghoon adds, "I wouldn't call that taking it well.""At least he's not still panicking over it at breakfast," Sunoo says, jabbing a fork in Jay's direction."That's 'cause he doesn't wake up before 11 on off days and right now it's 8:30."Jay just groans, loudly enough for Sunghoon and Sunoo to both stop bickering and shoot the older worried looks. "Jay," Sunghoon says, soft and taunting all at once in a way that only Park Sunghoon can pull off. "You good?" He asks through a giggle, and Jay wills the butterflies out of his stomach because for fuck's sake there are more important issues at hand right now!a.k.a Jungwon and Ni-ki announce that they're dating and Jay has a quarter-life crisis.
Relationships: Nishimura Riki | Ni-ki/Yang Jungwon, Park Jongseong | Jay/Park Sunghoon
Comments: 38
Kudos: 252





	do you ever?

**Author's Note:**

> listen the jungwon and ni-ki finger heart selca's are unreasonably cute and also i like jayhoon and friendship dynamics so here you go, thank you and enjoy :')

If Jay had to recount his worst moments since becoming a member of ENHYPEN, this would be pretty damn close to the top.

Around him are his members, all in varying degrees of distress, surprise, and amusement. Heeseung is frozen, white as a ghost, eyes wide and lips stretched downwards in a way that makes him look like some sort of cartoon lizard. Jake is twitching, as if he hasn't quite gotten a grasp of what they've been told yet, eyes closing and opening one at a time, blinking out of sync, and eyebrows tensing and relaxing in tandem. On the opposite side of the spectrum is Sunoo, thoroughly amused and also visibly excited, eyes flitting between his panicked hyungs and his nervous dongsaengs in a way that tells Jay that he's probably known for a while now. Jay himself is more on the Jake and Heeseung side of thing, blinking rapidly and mouth opening and closing like a fish. Sunghoon watches over all of it, somewhere in the middle, he looks at the three older members in a mix of concern and amusement, before exchanging a shrug with Sunoo and then standing up from the couch he was cramped next to Heeseung in. Jay wonders how he can keep his composure in times as pressing as these, then again, Sunghoon has always been like this.

"Well, uh," Sunghoons, says, shooting Ni-ki and Jungwon a look that is almost apologetic, "congratulations you two!"

His voice is unbearably soft, and he smiles before wrapping his arms around the two younger members.

It's a little awkward at first, given that Jake, Jay and Heeseung are still staring at them wide eyed and mouthed, but Jungwon and Ni-ki both melt into it eventually. Jungwon grasps onto Sunghoon's sweater tightly and buries his face into his neck, as if hiding away from the rest of his hyungs, and Ni-ki sighs, sinking into the older, looking like he's about to cry as he leans into Sunghoon's shoulder - something that is getting steadily harder for him to do, given that they're practically the same height now thanks the Ni-ki's rapidly growing height. Jay feels a little bad, but he's a little too stunned to do anything about it. Sunoo rushes in though, thank god, quickly joining in the hug, trying desperately to make the atmosphere more comfortable by prattling on about " _finally_ " and how he's " _so excited for you two_ " and how " _it really is about time they just came out and said it_ " and " _you guys are so cute together_ " in little hushed whispers. 

The four of them separate a little, Sunghoon keeps his hold on Jungwon, not that he can escape given that Jungwon's hand is still fisted firmly into the sleeves of his orange and cream sweater, Jungwon's other hand is linked with Ni-ki's. Sunoo holds onto the maknae, hands slipping around the taller's waist and forehead leaning onto his shoulder. The four of them stand, side by side pressed tightly against each other in front of the the three oldest members, all three of them frozen in their respective seats.

Jungwon and Ni-ki look nervous - even more so than they did before, when they told the rest of the team about everything - faces hunched downwards, not meeting their eyes. Sunoo and Sunghoon both look determined, staring the older members down, eyes intense. Sunghoon raises his eyebrows, egging them on, he doesn't say anything but Jay get's the message clear as day. _Come on_ , Sunghoon is saying, _say something!_

Heeseung clears his throat, and Jungwon's head immediately shoots upwards, eyes wide and starting to get wet.

"I'm really happy for you guys," he says, "really," he pauses to take a deep breath, "but are you guys sure this is a good idea?"

Jake pipes in. "Really you guys are adorable," he says, "but, I mean, you're a little too young?"

Jay finally pipes in because, _yeah they're a little too young,_ a lot too young in fact - they're kids! Children! 14 and 16 respectively (granted NI-ki's turning 15 in a couple of months but _still_ ).

"Yeah, I mean," he says, "you guys are, like, _kids._ "

Surprsingly, Ni-ki and Jungwon both exhale sighs of relief at their words, immediately relaxing in their hyung's holds. Jungwon's hand drops from where it's clutching Sunghoon's sleeve and instead comes to grab at his own chest. “Oh, thank god," he exhales, looking genuinely relaxed and Jay is confused because they hadn't had the most positive response. Jay himself had been mortified because there's no way Baby Ni-ki and Jungwon were dating - least of all before Jay himself got a boyfriend. Ni-ki also relaxes a little, pulling Jungwon closer and wrapping his arms around the older's shoulder while burying his face in Jungwon's neck, "we thought you guys would've been upset because of the two boys thing," Jungwon says giddily, "but it's just the age thing so it's all good!" He's weirdly chippy about the whole thing and also-

"What do you mean, just an age thing?" Jay gapes, "you guys are like, I don't know, 5?"

Sunghoon laughs now, detangling himself from the younger members and resuming his place next to Heeseung (who is, much like Jay, still, well, processing), "you guys say this like all of you weren't dating at 15." Jake seams to relax a little at that, Jay doesn't - because _no,_ he was not dating at 15! Not everyone is lucky enough to not need a glow up Park Sunghoon and also Shim Jaeyoon. Jay voices this, and then gets laughed at, because of course he does.

"You're just jealous Ni-ki and Jungwon-ie got boyfriends before you," Sunoo says. Things are a little more relaxed now, so Jay can admit that yeah maybe a _little_ but that is _not_ the source of his distress here. He just splutters in response. 

It's late, okay? Jungwon and Ni-ki had the very bright idea to tell them 15 minutes after they returned to the dorms following a day full of gruelling practice. And hearing that two of your friends, teammates, and practically little brothers, had started dating out of _nowhere_ (and even if it wasn't completely out of the blue, Jay definitely hadn't picked up on any of it), was a little shocking. Excuse him for not being at his top game when it came to comebacks. He's a little surprised, is all. It'll be fine though, he should be cool after a night of sleep. Yeah, that's right, all cool, all good, _just fine_.

**♧♧♧**

After a night of sleep, Jay is none of those things.

He is not cool. He is not good. He is not _just fine_.

He knows this because he wakes up, sees Ni-ki and Jungwon tangled together on Jungwon's bed, and immediately runs to the kitchen in a state of mild panic. He finds Sunghoon and Sunoo there, the three of them being ENHYPEN's token morning people, Sunoo indulging in a bowl of early morning ramen and Sunghoon hunched over their coffee machine. They both look infuriatingly put together for it being 8:30 in the morning (which yes, is significantly later than when they usually wake up, but given that Ni-ki doesn't wake up before 12 on their off days it's still quite early). Sunoo's got his morning face mask on and his fuzzy slippers and fuzzy sweater and fuzzy everything, and Sunghoon, of course, looks ready to step into a leisurewear commercial, dark hair tousled carelessly and oversized cardigan draped gracefully over his frame.

"Morning, Hyung!" Sunoo sings when he sees Jay walking into their kitchen.

Sunghoon spins around at the words, grinning brightly, too brightly for first thing in the morning. 

Jay, doesn't waste time getting to the topic.

"They're-they're kids!" Jay splutters, throwing his hands over his head, "kids I tell you!" He collapses onto a chair, sitting opposite Sunoo, and buries his hands into his hair, "babies! 4 and 5 years old respectively!" It's unreasonable on his part perhaps, given that Jay himself had fantasized over having a boyfriend at 15 (unlike Ni-ki and Jungwon, he hadn't succeeded), but fantasizing was different from actually going ahead and doing it!

Sunghoon just laughs, not looking up from where he's gazing down at the coffee machine, filling his cup up with the strong black concoction he always drinks (no milk, no sugar, Jay hates it). "Technically," He says, "Jungwon is only 2 years younger than us."

"Well, I'll have you know that Ni-ki is _3_ years younger than us!"

Sunghoon laughs again, and really he has no business looking so pleasant and sunny in the morning, especially not when he's "arguing" with Jay - Jay can't do pretty people, and he definitely can't argue with them, it's why Sunghoon wins all their fights. The taller walks over to Jay, patting him lightly on the arm in an insincere attempt at comfort, before sitting down next to him. Sunoo, who's sitting across the two of them hunched over his bowl of ramyeon, looks up at the two of them with a cheeky grin, "I can't believe you're taking this worse than Heeseung Hyung and Jake Hyung," he lets out a snort, "literally, their kids are dating each other."

"Heeseung Hyung cried," Sunghoon adds, sneaking a bite from Sunoo's ramyeon, "I wouldn't call that _taking it well_."

That's true, he had, locked himself in the bathroom (because they all stayed in one room and what not) and whined over how _Jungwon-ie is all grown up now_ and _what am I supposed to do with these kids now_. It took Sunghoon and Jungwon their collective pouting and pleading efforts for them to finally persuade Heeseung to just _please get the fuck out of the goddamn toilet_ , but it did work out eventually. Granted, Heeseung came out and hugged Jungwon for approximately 30 minutes straight afterwards, and then proceeded to take him and Ni-ki into their bedroom for a "talk" - Jay can only have nightmares about what they'd discussed, but given that Jungwon and Ni-ki both came out red faced and wearing matching expressions of both disgust and horror, so he can safely assume it wasn't very fun. 

"At least he's not freaking out over it at breakfast," Sunoo counters, jabbing his fork in Jay's direction.

"That's because Hyung doesn't wake up before 11 on our days off and it's currently 8:30."

"Touché."

Jay just groans, loudly enough for Sunghoon and Sunoo to both stop bickering and shoot the older worried looks instead. "Jay-Ah," Sunghoon says, soft and taunting all at once in a way that only Park Sunghoon can pull off. "You good?" He asks through a giggle, and Jay wills the butterflies out of his stomach because for fuck's sake there are more important issues at hand right now! Jay chooses to ignore it - both the butterflies in his stomach and the fact that it's Sunghoon that's causing them (it's always Sunghoon that's causing them, but that's a conversation for another time). He changes the topic instead.

"If they're the kids and the parents what are we?" He asks, catching Sunoo's eyes.

"Huh?"

“Well, you said earlier that Jake was Ni-ki's dad and Heeseung Hyung was Jungwon's, well, what are the three of us then?"

Sunghoon lets out another laugh as Sunoo blinks in realisation. "Well," he starts, fingers tapping thoughtfully on his chin, "you two are the random uncles that come in every now and then - Sunghoon Hyung is the cool one and Jay Hyung is the weird one who wears a lot of tie dye," Sunoo says, nodding sagely and Jay resists the urge to go over and smack him across the head, he would, but he's tired and very much still processing yesterday and Sunoo's just _so_ far away (he also chooses to ignore how oddly specific the definition is and also that Jay has literally never worn tie-dye in his life, but well, it is what it is - or, it is whatever Sunoo says it is), "and I'm obviously the cool older cousin who they all love and respect and look up to."

Sunghoon raises an unimpressed eyebrow, "bet," he says, voice disbelieving. 

Jay can't help but echo the sentiment - he doesn't know in which universe Sunoo is any sort of cool older cousin, but it definitely isn't this one.

**♧♧♧**

In all fairness, Jay figures that the hints had been there all along, Jay is just a little a lot dense and never put them together.

It starts with dance practice. Jungwon and Ni-ki are both insane dancers, two of their best, and both with strengths in different places. Ni-ki and Jungwon are also pretty competitive over the dancing (not over _everything_ \- that really falls on to Jay himself and also Park Sunghoon - just dancing). Nevertheless, Jay sees it for the first time, the teasing looks and the smiles they exchange when one of them gets complimented, how they compliment _each other_ even in the midst of an argument of who did the move best, the way they teach each other moves, hands placed on shoulders and smiles both so soft Jay feels like he'll melt if he doesn't look away. It's kinda cute, Jay figures, the way they giggle and prance around each other, it's also kind of gross but that's because Jay has never enjoyed PDA and while this is nowhere there just yet, Jay fears dreadfully that it'll evolve to _that_ someday.

"You're staring at them, you know?" Sunghoon says, sitting down next to Jay from where he's crouched down in their practice room.

Jay shakes his eyes off the two maknaes and looks at Sunghoon sheepishly, "was I?" he says, scratching the back of his neck.

Sunghoon hums in acknowledgement and grabs Jay's water bottle, taking the water down in gulps. Jay watches Sunghoon's adam's apple bob up and down as drinks and is reminded for the nth time about how Sunghoon can make the most mundane of tasks look mesmerizing. Practicing for example, no one should be able to look this good after practicing for hours and hours and hours, and yet, even through mussed hair and a sheen of sweat, Sunghoon looks more sparkly than gross, something Jay can't say for himself or the rest of their members. Sunghoon, only Sunghoon. 

"I've just," Jay starts, "never notice how close they are - like yeah, sure, they're obviously friends and all, but I always thought Ni-ki was closer to Jake and Sunoo, and Won-ie was closer to you, me and Heeseung-ie Hyung, not, you know, _each other_."

Sunghoon laughs, putting down Jay's water bottle and leaning down against Jay's shoulder. He too fixes his eyes on the two maknaes, Jay can tell because now _he's_ watching _him_ instead of the two of them, or at least Jay's watching his reflection. "I think they're sweet," Sunghoon says, before wrinkling his nose cutely, "or maybe I'm just spending too much time with Sunoo- Jay-ah, am I spending too much time with Sunoo?"

Jay laughs and says nothing more about the topic, instead choosing to let his eyes drift between Sunghoon and the maknae's.

"You knew, didn't you?" He asks, eyes narrowing at the younger.

Sunghoon laughs, "I had my suspicions," he says.

Jay whistles, a little impressed, but mostly just acknowledging, because Sunghoon is Sunghoon and _of course_ he picks up on stuff like this, smart, annoying, cute, motherfucker.

"Admit that they're cute though," Sunghoon says, nudging their shoulders together, "go on, do it, I know you think so."

Jay laughs, and as he looks over to at the two maknaes sitting crosslegged on the floor, squished next to each other as they share a water bottle and look into Jungwon's phone screen together (either monitoring practice, or slacking off playing a round of some phone game, Jay cannot tell which extreme it is), wearing matching looks of pinched concentration, all while Ni-ki - unknowingly - twirls a finger into Jungwon's hair, and Jungwon - also unknowingly - drums a beat on Ni-ki's thigh with his fingers, Jay can't help but admit that, yeah, okay, maybe they're a _little_ cute.

"Fine," he sighs out, "they're kind of adorable."

And as Sunghoon's face lights up at Jay's words, Jay can't help but think that he is too.

**♧♧♧**

They make moves slowly.

They tell their manager first, who acts much in the same way Jay, Heeseung and Jake did, in that he looked mortified at first and then seams to make peace with it - granted he did it a lot faster than Jay and his bandmates did. Their manager tells the company a little after that, and much to all of their surprise the company says it's all good, as long as it doesn't get out, which Jay supposes is fair, given that the korean public barely tolerates romantic relationships, least of all romantic relationships between two idols of the same gender. Their CEO even brings the group in for a talk, which is scary at first, but ultimately just kind of amusing - Jungwon and Ni-ki squirm in their seats, and their CEO just looks tired in a way that makes Jay think he's probably dealt with this kinda thing before ( _Jay always thought there was something going on between Soobin Hyung and Heuning Kai when they were trainee_ s).

Things do settle down though, Jake makes peace with it the fastest between the three of them. Squishing Ni-ki's face between his palms and constantly saying things along the lines of _you're all grown up now_ and _look at you with an active love life I could never_. Heeseung makes peace with it next, although not nearly with as much enthusiasm as Jake, he just sorta lets it happen, shooting Ni-ki frankly kinda terrifying warning looks when he thinks him and Jungwon are getting too close. And Jay, well, Jay doesn't know where he's at just yet.

He's made peace with it, he has really, in that well, Jungwon and Ni-ki are dating and Jay knows that and he supports that.

But something gnaws at the back of Jay's chest everytime he sees them together. It's not disgust or disdain or anything of that sort, in fact it really isn't unpleasant at all, but it still eats Jay up on the inside and really he tries not to think about it too much. Unfortunately, despite all his best efforts (most of which comprises of indulging himself in copious amounts of sugar - mostly honey because all of ENHYPEN are on a diet - and shoving down his feeling) but the gnawing refuses to back down. He should really talk about it, he figures, but he's not quite sure who to go to.

Jungwon and Ni-ki are both out, for reasons that are complete obvious.

Sunghoon is also out, for reasons Jay can't place just yet because usually Sunghoon is exactly the person he would go to in a situation like this, unfortunately, something in his gut is screaming at him not to and, well, Jay usually goes with his gut.

Sunoo is out because Sunoo would definitely spin it into something romance related and that is the complete opposite of what he wants right now. Jake is, well, Jake, and while Jay loves the guy to absolute death he really doesn't think he's the right person to go to right now. Jake is soft, and Jay needs someone to tell him how it is and tell it to him straight (case and point as to why he'd usually go to _Sunghoon_ , but, well, you know how it is). That really only leaves Heeseung, and while it isn't ideal because Heeseung - while it has diminished greatly - is still reeling just a little from the news, he'll have to do for now.

Jay finds his opening one evening during one of their off-days.

Sunghoon and Jake have gone shopping together, Sunoo is taking a nap (and really, out of all of them, Sunoo is perhaps the only one Jay doesn't mind over-hearing), and Jungwon and Ni-ki are on a closely monitored date, with their manager tagging along, of course. Jay and Heeseung are both in the kitchen, Jay's making dinner and Heeseung's doing the dishes Sunghoon usually insists on doing. He says it's because he doesn't want the younger to overwork himself, despite knowing that the sole reason Sunghoon does it is because he worries the same for Heeseung, Heeseung also does it despite knowing Sunghoon would whine over it tomorrow - Heeseung's reasoning is that if he isn't here to complain about it, it's not Heeseung's fault. Jay calls bullshit because they both know Sunghoon _would_ complain about it had he been here, but Jay lets it go because it's not worth arguing things like this with Heeseung, stubborn fucker that he is.

Things are comfortable, they make idle conversation while one of Jay's numerous playlists plays in the back, when Jay decides to pop the question.

"So, Hyung," he says nervously, "about Ni-ki and Jungwon-ie, uh, how do you feel?"

Heeseung raises his brows, obviously a little surprised by the question, but eventually settles into a shrug, "I mean, I think I've made peace with it, I think the disdain was mostly just my overprotective big brother tendencies coming out," he pauses to think about it, before chuckling, "it's funny though, I don't think my older brother would ever worry that much about _me_ getting into a relationship." Jay chuckles tightly in response, and the nervousness obviously spills into it because Heeseung shoots him a confused look, eyes narrowing.

"Why are you asking now though?" He says, "I mean, it's been almost a month since they told us.", 

Jay sighs, fixing his eyes on the fried rice he's making. This is where the conversation gets, well, difficult.

"It's just," Jay says, sighing into his words, "I know Jungwon and Ni-ki are dating, I've accepted it and I'm genuinely so, so, so happy for them I promise I am," he rambles, not daring to look up from his fried rice. "But," he continues, hesitating as he feels Heeseung's gaze on him, large eyes curious and confused and deductive all at once, "I just, I don't know, everytime I see them together I get this, kinda, _tightness_ in my chest? And I just have to look away because if I look too long I'll feel like, I don't know, _screaming_? Crying? Throwing up?" Jay pauses with a deep sigh, finally looking up to meet Heeseung's eyes. The olders face betrays none of what he's thinking, his eyes just bore into Jay, curious and contemplative. 

"It sounds to me," Heeseung says after a while, voice cautious, "like you're jealous."

And well, Jay was not expecting that.

"J-jealous?" He splutters, "of who? Ni-ki and Jungwon are like, like, I don't know? My baby brothers?"

Heeseung shrugs, "I don't know," he says, "maybe you're not jealous of one of _them_ , exactly, maybe you're just jealous of the fact that they're in a relationship as a whole, you know what I mean?"

Well, that's a thought.

"Elaborate?" Jay says hesitantly, eyes pleading.

Heeseung scratches the back of his head, looking thoughtful, "like, okay," he says, he sounds unsure too, and it puts Jay on edge because Heeseung doesn't sound like that very often, "so, you don't like Jungwon-ie or Ni-ki in like, a non platonic way, right?"

"Definitely."

"Right, so, 100% platonic - so you're jealous, but not because one of them is dating the other, but because, you know, they're dating at all," Heeseung pauses, "and, well, you're not." Jay stays quiet, eyes fixated on Heeseung, single eyebrow raised, imploring the older to go on. Heeseung sighs, "right okay," he says, "so, at least according to my hypothesis, the jealousy isn't like, fixated to them? Like it has nothing to do with either of them as individuals and more to do with the fact that they're a couple. Like, the people involved wouldn't matter, like you'd feel the same if it was, say, me, and uh, i don't know, Sunghoon-ie who announced they were dating instead."

Something sours in Jay at that.

He didn't think he'd be nearly as, well, _not_ _sad_ , if it was Heeseung and, more importantly, Sunghoon in the relationship instead of Ni-ki and Jungwon. Just the thought of it burns in Jay's mind, and he feels his eyebrows clench and hands fists and lips purse as he glares down at his fried rice. He feels annoyed more than anything else really, maybe a little upset, and a little angry - and all at just a suggestion, man, he's pathetic, and also annoyed, very annoyed. Heeseung seams to take note of this to, visibly surprised. He puts away the dishes and takes off the yellow plastic gloves they keep at the dorm, making his way over to Jay, "dude," he says, "you good?" He peers at Jay, leaning into his personal space, and Jay actively avoids making eye contact with him.

Jay clenches his jaw, trying to will the annoyance away. "I'm fine," he grits out.

Heeseung laughs at that, light and airy, "no way," he says, "no way, no way, no _way!_ "

"What?" Jay asks, cautiously, turning off the stove and facing his Hyung. Heeseung looks, in a word, excited, he eyes are bright and his smile is wide and Jay is scared about what's going to come out of his mouth next. Back when they were trainees Heeseung always got this look when he was plotting, not that he plotted often, Jay just knew that when he did they were in for a ride.

Heeseung grins at him, wide and excited and _terrifying_. 

"You _like_ him," he says, gleefully.

Well, fuck.

"What?" Jay says, trying his best to keep the panic out of his voice. He hasn't confronted this part of himself yet, he definitely isn't looking to start now.

"Sunghoon-ie!" Heeseung says, as if that answers all of Jay's questions, "you like Sunghoon-ie! That's why you're jealous! You want what Ni-ki and Jungwon have - but with Sunghoon! See it all makes perfect sense now!" Jay forces back the bile that rises in his throat, no, nope, no way, he is not having this conversation with Heeseung right now, if ever, _no, nope, no way_. He tries his best to remain nonchalant, although Jay has always worn his heart on his sleeve and once Heeseung decides on something it's incredibly difficult to convince him otherwise.

"A-and how exactly did you get that?" He says, cringing at himself as he stutters over his words.

Heeseung just smiles, wide and angelic and as if he didn't just call Jay out on his biggest secret. "It's okay, Jay-ah," he says, "I won't tell!" He looks unreasonably happy with himself, sneaking a spoonful of fried-rice straight from the pan and giggling, "I've always suspected you know," he prattles on, "like _everyone_ stares at Sunghoon because of how pretty he is and what not but the way you look at him is just different you know? And also like the way you just pick him up and parade him around when you're proud of him? Like I thought it was just you guys being best friends for a while and now it just _all makes sense_ -"

Jay sighs, tuning out Heeseung as he prattles on and on.

If he knew things were gonna turn out this way he would've just gone to Sunoo.

Who's probably awake now due to all of Heeseung's screeching.

Fuck.

**♧♧♧**

Jay gets used to Jungwon and Ni-ki soon enough, in fact he even starts enjoying their interactions.

Sunghoon wasn't wrong when he said they were cute, and Jay wasn't wrong when he agreed. They really are kind of adorable, and although the bite in Jay's chest stays after he watches them, but he's warming up more to the two maknae's relationship everyday. Every morning Jay wakes up to the two of them twisted together on Jungwon's bed, Ni-ki breathing deeply, arms and legs spread around haphazardly while Jungwon cuddles into his side, face buried in his shoulder and arms and legs thrown over the younger. It's cute, and by the innocent, serene looks on their faces as they sleep, Jay realizes that they are still very much kids, and them being in a relationship doesn't change that.

What doesn't get better is Heeseung.

Now Heeseung is good at a lot of things, basically everything honestly.

He is _not_ good at being subtle.

Really of all the things Heeseung _could_ be bad at he had to choose this? Really it's just his luck, Jay figures, or his lack of it. He figures it's not all terrible, Heeseung's incredibly annoying smirking and nudging and prodding at the very least forces Jay to confront his feelings about Sunghoon. Even if he really, really doesn't want. He knows it's the good, responsible, intelligent, mature thing to do, but Jay has never claimed to be any of these things. So, while Jay knows that confronting the butterflies in his chest that go off every time Sunghoon so much as smiles at him is technically the smart thing to do, he's _really_ not happy doing it. 

Perhaps it would be easier if they didn't spend so much time together. They live in the same dorm, work together all day, hell, Jay and Sunghoon even share a goddamn bunkbed - which is hell by the way. 90% of the time Jay wakes up to Sunghoon in the bed below him, looking unreasonably pretty for someone fast asleep, who has also _been_ fast asleep for the past 5-6 hours (they very rarely get more than that these days). Again, Sunghoon, only Sunghoon. 

What's worse is that while Jay can feel himself changing, Sunghoon stays exactly the same. He makes fun of Jay at literally any chance he gets, he switches between being the quietest person in their dorm to the loudest at the drop of a hat, he's just _Sunghoon_. Well, maybe _just_ Sunghoon isn't the right phrase, he's never been _just_ Sunghoon. Not even when he'd first shown up at Bighit Entertainment, still a figure skater at the time, coming to practice with an extra bag containing skates and skate guards slung over his shoulder.

Sunghoon had never been at the top of trainee evaluations, but he'd never been on the lower end either, falling and rising amidst the upper-middle and middle ranks. He'd been pretty then too, his face a little fuller with some remaining traces of baby fat, all of which had now melted away seeing as Sunghoon had bone structure sharp enough to slice bread. Regardless, people had thought he was pretty even then, and Jay and him had become pretty fast friends.

It wasn't like the rest of the friendships Jay had with the trainees either, born out of mutual respect and late night night practice sessions turned heartfelt conversations. No, Jay and Sunghoon sort of just clicked. They never talked about it back then - as Jay mentioned in his letter to the guy back on I-LAND, he didn't tell Sunghoon how much he liked him very often, definitely not often enough - but the two of them sort of just worked right from the first day. They're in the strange position of being incredibly similar - stubborn, competitive, needlessly self-deprecating, among other better qualities - and terrifyingly different.

It works for them, though they're feelings on everything were steadily getting out of hand.

Okay maybe that only applied to Jay's.

The worst part is that Jay has no clue who to go through, no clue who would get where he's coming from. Jay is a people person, as a result, people are usually the medium he uses to navigate his problems - unfortunately, he can't seem to figure out a person this time around. Heeseung has proven himself to be completely useless in this situation, he simply hasn't known Jake, Sunoo and Ni-ki long enough for them to know the intricacies of his relationship with Sunghoon - who is of course, out of the question. Really this only leaves his trainee friends, maybe he can reach out to Taehyun? Or Heuningkai? Really they did drift after those two made their debut so even that doesn't quite sem right- wait.

Jay can't believe he didn't think of him before!

_Jungwon._

**♧♧♧**

Luckily opportunity strikes in the form of one a friday night as the two of them are collapsed on the practice room floor.

Honestly it's more early saturday morning, given that the clock reads 12:17, but semantics. Jay is heaving on the floor, face red, hair matted with sweat and falling over his eyes - he's sure it's not his best look. Jungwon is also lying on the floor, a little away from him, legs bent and arms stretched over his face so he can look into his phone, the blue light illuminating his face despite their needlessly bright studio. Jungwon is smiling at the screen, probably texting someone going by the rapid movement of his thumbs and the occasional little giggle he lets out. He's in a better state the Jay, granted, that probably isn't saying too much at the moment.

Jungwon puts his phone down and turns his face to meet Jay's eyes, "you doing okay, Hyung?" He says with a chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah," Jay says, chest finally steadying, "one more minute."

"Take your time," Jungwon says with another laugh.

His eyes crinkle at the sides and his lips spread wide and Jay is hopelessly endeared, as he always is with Jungwon - he has an undeniable soft spot for the younger, one that might even rival Heeseung's. On another note, Jungwon does look happier these day. Not that he wasn't happy before, he's always been bright kid, but Jay has noticed a change in the past month. For as long as Jay's known him Jungwon has stressed over being put together and responsible and mature, despite being one of the youngest trainees there. Jay'd always thought the younger grew up too fast, considering he'd been basically raised by his grandmother (he'd had to do his fair share of taking care of other people as a kid), and Jay worried terribly that Jungwon may have lost out on even more childhood than your usual kpop-trainee does anyway.

But, somehow, in the past month or so, Jay's seen the tension slowly slide off of Jungwon's shoulders, if only just a little. He's less concerned over being all grown up, letting Sunoo and Ni-ki drag him into midnight disney movie sessions and indulging in a little more candy than their diet allowed and having on quick little Among Us sessions with Ni-ki in between practice. He just seems more himself, less reserved about holding it all in, freer - and Jay is endlessly happy for him because of it.

Anyway, this is a prime opportunity. 

Jay turns to face Jungwon, hesitating, just to gage whether or not this is the right time to ask, no other reason, it's not like Jay literally hates bringing this topic up or anything. Jungwon looks perfectly calm next to him, eyes closed and facing the ceiling, phone and hands pressed against his chest, and Jay's brain can't possibly come with a reason as to why he shouldn't ask the younger right now ( _stupid brain, making him do things he doesn't want to do even though he knows he should do them_ ). So, Jay takes a deep breath, musters as much courage as he can, and speaks.

"So," He says, "how'd you know you liked Ni-ki?"

Jungwon freezes, eyes going wide. He turns to Jay with a gaze that is both curious and scrutinizing and Jay squirms from his spot on the floor.

"Why?" Jungwon asks, cautiously.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Jay rushes out, his words stumbling over one another, "I was just wondering, you know?"

Jungwon doesn't seam to believe him but he sighs out anywhere - whether it's a happy one or a tired one, Jay could not tell. His fingers move to fiddle with the straps of his sweater. "Well honestly," he starts, "it kind of came out of nowhere? Like one day he was Ni-ki: friend and dongsaeng that I love and adore, and then he became well, _Ni-ki_." Jungwon pauses to think for a second, and Jay is hopelessly confused because that made _no sense_ , but he doesn't push - mostly because it's pretty clear that Jungwon's getting ready to talk more. "Honestly it first came to my mind after all those finger-heart selca's we took together, the one where we're like looking at each other, you know? Like, maybe it's because we were looking into each others eyes for so long while taking them - Hyung, did you know Ni-ki has like _really_ pretty eyes?"

Jay chuckles, Jungwon is adorable, he knows this.

He's also going off topic, so Jay nudges him to continue.

"Anyway, yeah," the younger says, staring up at the ceiling, "the first time was all normal and stuff, and it was even a little awkward because we were like looking into each others eyes and what not," Jungwon chuckled, "but when we took the next one I thought I was going to _die,_ like, my heart started beating really fast and my ears felt all warm and there was just this _feeling_ in the pit of my stomach - and none of it was bad it was just like, _new_ , and scary." Jungwon pauses to let out a deep breath, lips spreading into a small smile, "and the feeling didn't go away after that, and I spoke to Sunoo Hyung about it - and of course, Sunoo Hyung being Sunoo Hyung, gave mye like a whole dissertation on how i'm _probably in love with Ni-ki,_ and while _love_ is definitely a strong word, I figured I really did like him - and nothing else really changed, he was still the same Ni-ki as always, I just, well, I just liked him now."

Jay just looked at the younger for a while, a little worried because _holy fuck that made so much sense,_ and _that_ was terrifying. Jay feels his eyebrow clench as he thinks about Jungwon's words, partly because he's incredibly distressed about how much they resonate with him, partly because holy fuck Jungwon is stunningly articulate for a 16 year old and Jay could _literally_ never. So he pops in a further question, one that is - if that's even possible - even scarier than the last. 

"And," he says, voice shaky, "how do you know they like you back."

Jungwon turns to face him, small smile etched on his face and eyes warm.

"You don't," he responds.

**♧♧♧**

Somehow, Jay's conversation with Jungwon really does help.

Mostly because it helps Jay accept that, yeah, he kinda maybe _definitely_ like Sunghoon.

The realisation isn't as Jarring as Jay thought it would, but perhaps that's because Jay's known for a while and has kept pushing it down. It sort of just slides into the forefront of his brain one morning, Jay wakes up, starts climbing down their bunk bed's ladder, sees Sunghoon sleeping in the bunk underneath him, smiles, and _knows._ Just _knows_ , for absolute sure this time. Jay Park has a thing for Park Sunghoon, it really is as simple as that.

It is not as simple as that.

Jay can - and has - come to turn with his feelings, unfortunately that just opens up a whole new box of horrors because Jay has to figure what the fuck comes _next_. Heeseung had given Jay a whole lecture on how _now is the time to shoot your shot_ and _if you don't just go out and do it you may never get the chance_ and _what's the worst that could happen?_ A lot, Heeseung, a lot could happen. Sunoo - who, yes, had definitely overheard Jay and Heeseung's conversation that one time in the kitchen - starts of with gushing about how cute him and Sunghoon would be together, and then ends the conversation on "don't be a pussy, hyung," - and those are a series of words Jay hadn't seen coming from the younger in his wildest nightmares, but can't claim weren't deserved. 

Jungwon, Ni-ki and Jake (and, of course, Sunghoon, because, well, of course) still don't know. Anything Jake knows, Sunghoon knows, that's how they work and Jay accepts and doesn't question it, either way there will be no telling Jake Sim. Regarding the two youngest members, for whatever reason Jay suspects tha the two of them are both going to be even worse at containing their excitement than Heeseung - truly, despite Sunoo's love for disney movie romances, he really seems to be the only one of his bandmates that's somehow rational about all of this - all of this being that, well, Jay's gotta do something about his feelings.

Jay knows Sunghoon well enough to be sure that the younger won't be in any way repulsed or disgusted by him, so at least there's that. So even if Sunghoon doesn't reciprocate - which Jay is fairly sure he doesn't - they'll still be friends, granted there'll be a layer of discomfort and bitterness and Jay really doesn't want to fuck with the group dynamic like that you know? All of them share a houe and a room and, fuck it, Jay and Sunghoon share a bunk bed too. Still, they'll stay friends, Sunghoon is too sweet for that to fall through and Jay knows that Sunghoon likes him too much for that to happen anyway, even if it's as a friend instead of, well, the way Jay likes him.

So, Jay decides to _wallow._

Sunoo shoots him near constant disapproving glares, and Heeseung pouts at him as if _he_ isn't the older one, but Jay still wallows. He wallows and he avoids and he navigates himself out of any situation that requires him to interact with Sunghoon on his own. That doesn't help. Apparently Jay is so attached to Sunghoon that he has what he can only describe as withdrawal symptoms when he avoids the younger, he's skittish and on edge and just generally not having a great time. Unfortunately, Jay is also incredible _not_ subtle, so everyone catches onto it.

 _Everyone_.

"Dude, what's up with you?"

It's late at night, or early in the morning at this point honestly, and Jay is the last one back from practice. He'd stayed back in the practice room a little extra to perfect a move he was having a hard time nailing during the day, now it's 1 a.m in the morning and Jay opens the door to their dorms to see a disapproving looking Sunghoon sitting on their couch, illuminated by a single lamp and the light of the phone in his hands, eyes worried and a deep frown etched onto his face. Jay stares at him a second too long - mostly because of surprise and partly because Sunghoon has no right looking that pretty while frowning in terrible lighting - before he responds.

"Nothing, I was just trying to perfect a move - and it's not like I stayed out too late-"

"That's not what I'm talking about," Sunghoon interrupts, and Jay wants to cry because Sunghoon looks genuinely, truly, upset - and also because this conversation is going somewhere, and Jay isn't sure if he likes where it's going. "We all stay out late for practice, and it's not like you're doing it repeatedly or anything either," Sunghoon says, "thank god," he adds as an afterthought, mumbling under his breath and really it shouldn't warm Jay's heart as much as it does. "Anyway," Sunghoon says, shaking the hair out of his eyes, "why are you avoiding me?"

There it is.

"What?" Jay says lies, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Please, just," Sunghoon lets out a shaky breath and Jay immediately feels a hundred times worse, "just tell me if I did something wrong?"

And Jay just _knew_ it would turn out this way, because despite Sunghoon's perfect face and smile and demeanor, he has just as many layers of anxiety and insecurity to peel through. Jay's always been aware of this, Sunghoon is stubborn and closed off and self deprecating and a hundred other not perfect things, and most of it manifests here, because Sunghoon always, always, convinces himself he's in the wrong.

"W-Why would you think you've done anything wrong?" Jays says, voice shaky, and that seems like the last straw because a tear slips down Sunghoon's cheek and Jay feels his heart stop.

"Be-because you're avoiding me!" Sunghoon says, trying desperately to not get loud and hands shaking at his sides.

"I, uh," Jay says shakily, "I'm not-"

"Please don't lie to me," Sunghoon's cheeks are wet at this point and Jay wants nothing more than to run over to him and wrap the younger up in his arms. For whatever reason, he doesn't. It's like there's a clamp in his mouth, someone holding it down from the inside, forbidding Jay from saying anything to the younger. His gut churns, edging him onwards, but his brain shuts it down, a constant onslaught of all the repercussions that could come from confessing his feelings flood his brain, and for the first time in Jay's life that's what he chooses to listen to. Jay usually goes with his gut. He doesn't this time.

Sunghoon keeps his gaze on him, eyes big and earnest and honest and _sad_ and Jay has never felt like such a terrible fucking person in his life. After a moment of silence Sunghoon speaks again. "Please," he says, voice desperate, " _please_ ," he says again, voice barely more than a whisper. He's met with silence. Sunghoon says nothing more, just fixes Jay with a look that is sad, angry, and desperate all at once, gets up, a picks up a bag Jay hadn't noticed laying on the floor, and pushes past Jay. He stops at the door slipping on his sneakers. _He's going outside_ , Jay realises, _now? It's 1 am?_

"Where are you going," Jay asks cautiously, voice a shell of what it usually is as he watches Sunghoon tie his laces and unlock their door.

Sunghoon simply says, "out," and walks into the night, closing the door behind him.

Jay's frozen in his spot as the door slams to a close. He stares at it for a second, unable to look away, before collapsing on the couch. He stays up that night, sitting on the couch, staring straight ahead at the wall it faces, an entirely awful mix of guilt and fear churning violently in his stomach. He feels the strong urge to throw up and punch a wall all at the same time - it's really not his best moment.

The clock ticks.

Suddenly it's 2:45 a.m.

Sunghoon is nowhere to be seen.

Fear settles deep into Jay's stomach - what if something had happened to him? Sunghoon wouldn't have been stupid enough to go do something really harmful, even with all the anger, but that didn't mean other people wouldn't do things to him! Jay could barely sit still, lying on the couch, eyes fixated on the door, unable to do anything but worry and wallow in his misery.

The clock strikes 3.

That's it.

Jay gets up with a start, throwing on his jacket (he's still in his clothes from practice, sticky and not particularly comfortable after hours and hours of practice, but they'll have to do), and grabbing his mask and beanie before he marches out of the door in a frenzy. His first stop is the park near their dorms where the members often go when they're in need of some fresh air. Empty. Then Jay walks further, to the 24/7 ramen stop Heeseung drags them all to sometimes. Empty. Then Jay walks further still, to the company, where some trainee or the other would definitely be up practicing right now. Not empty, but still no Sunghoon.

Jay doesn't know what to do at this point, or where to go. He's just about ready to scream, and though the cold is biting, the fear in his stomach is about a hundred times more chilling. He wracks his brain, thinking of places the him and Sunghoon would go to while taking breaks during their trainee days when they were practicing for The 7th Sense just a few months ago. It feels like it's been a lifetime. Jay is blank. He wanders the streets, almost aimless, eyes darting back and forth between every single thing that could possibly lead to Sunghoon's location. A man on the street, a 24/7 pizza place, anything at all. The air is cold and bitter around him and it bites at Jay's skin, he passes by an ice cream store with a group of what look to be college students in it and Jay wonders how people enjoy ice cream when it feels like it's seconds away from snowing - and then it hits him.

**♧♧♧**

Jay hasn't been to the Seoul Plaza Ice Rink in a while.

He's never been one for ice skating - he's better with a skate-board himself and even there Jake has him beat - but he can watch other people doing it for hours on end. The Seoul Plaza Ice Rink makes it all the prettier, a giant open air rink illuminated with the lights of the city and usually a ton of skaters, both beginners and professionals, just breathing in the atmosphere together. Of course, it was mostly empty right now - it's almost 3:30 a.m in the morning afterl all - save for the 24/7 guard that stood at the entrance, a single, miserable-looking, staff member who's probably obligated to be there at all times, and of course, Park Sunghoon.

Jay hasn't seen Sunghoon skate for a while. There was a point where he used to see it quite often. In his earlier days as a trainee, when Sunghoon was still training for his sport side by side, he'd often have to leave practice early to get to the rink on time, and Jay remembers going and watching him with a few other trainees when they finished the day's practice. Later, Sunghoon would often go to the rink when trainee life became too much, often dragging Jay along with him in between The 7th Sense practice sessions. Sunghoon is always stunning on the ice, and while Jay thinks he is just as stunning when he's dancing, the ice always brings a different quality to him. Sunghoon looks freer in a way, the ice-skating, now that he's given it up and switched career paths, acts as a getaway of sorts instead of something restraining him - Jay's sure it hadn't been like that before Sunghoon became a full-time trainee, but after the primary goal of Sunghoon's life had shifted, Jay figured skating acted as some reminder of the proverbial good old days. Sunghoon _had_ basically spent his entire childhood on the ice.

Even now, through clenched eyebrows and visible agition, Sunghoon is stunningly graceful out there. 

He's attempting his jumps, some landing, some not, still beautiful throughout all the same. He's gliding and flying and sliding on the ice like it's second nature, as if he doesn't even have to think about it as he does it, and the tense expression on his face tells Jay he _is_ thinking of something else. (Jay has a pretty good idea what he was thinking about.) He's still mesmerizing to watch though, despite the fact that his eyes are angry and his lips are pressed into a tense frown. Jay knows he hasn't skated in a while, so the ease with which he moves on the ice is terribly impressive. Perhaps isn't quite as stable with his jumps, but beyond that Jay delights in the fact that Sunghoon is just as stunning out there as he was a year ago, even if it _has_ been a while.

Someone clears their throat.

Jay meets Sunghoon's eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Sunghoon asks, his voice is hoarse, as if he'd cried not too long ago, and when Jay looks closer he can pick up on the tear stains on his cheeks and the lines of red that frame his eyes. Jay's heart lurches in his chest, _god, he fucking sucks_.

Jay gulps thickly, and it feels like there's a chunk of metal lodged in his throat. "I got scared when you didn't come back after a while," he says, noticing that his own voice isn't at it's best right now, a shell of what it usually is, "I've been looking for you for, like, an hour."

Sunghoon's eyes widen for a second, before they fall back to this ice, his head bent down keeping hi face out of Jay's sight. "Well," he says softly (Jay has to strain to catch his words because Sunghoon is still on the ice rink while Jay is on the sides and truly the distance is not helping their already tense conversation), "you found me," he continues, pausing before looking up to meet Jay's eyes, he skates forward until he's on the edge of the ice, before stepping off and moving the sit a little away from Jay. Jay waits with bated breath as the younger takes off his skates and makes eye contact with Jay once again, "what now?"

Jay, well, can't answer that question.

What he can do, however, is clench his fists, take a deep breath, and _tell Sunghoon_. 

For once, Jay does.

"I love you," Jay says. It comes out as barely more than a whisper but Sunghoon's head shoots up regardless, eyes going impossibly wide. He doesn't look like he quite believes Jay yet, his full lips opening out of reflex, halfway between a gasp and a gape, so Jay repeats himself. "You," he says, "I love you, have loved you for a while now, and I've been avoiding you because I didn't know how to tell you or what I would do if you didn't love me back."

The words roll of his tongue with surprising ease, especially for something Jay has been dreading talking about for so so long, but as he says it a weight melts of his shoulder. Jay reminds himself that Sunghoon loves him no matter what, even if it's just as a friend, and that no matter what direction this conversation takes from here on out Sunghoon will still love him, and Jay will still love Sunghoon, even if it's in completely different ways. Neither of them move after Jay says it, eyes trained on each other, Sunghoon's big and wide, and Jay's smiling, even if only just a little, contemplative, and accepting of what is to come. And then Sunghoon's right in front of him, hands fisted into his shirt. 

"You idiot," he says, and then Jay feels his lips on his.

Jay has never kissed anyone before. In that moment, with Sunghoons hands on his chest and his long eyelashes brushing against Jay's cheek and his full lips pressed chastly against Jay's, Jay wonders why the fuck not.

Sunghoon taste like coffee and chapstick, with a faint aftertaste saltiness that Jay later realises are leftover tears. It's not a combination Jay would find alluring under normal circumstances, but on Sunghoon's lips as they're pressed against his own, it's heaven. Without realising, Jay finds himself snaking his arms around Sunghoon's middle, holding on as gently as he can, as if Sunghoon will disappear if he grabs on too hard.

There aren't fireworks per say, the way Jay has always told there would be when he had first kiss via rom coms and y/a novels. But it feels better than any firworks Jay has ever experienced. Kissing Sunghoon feels like coming home, even if he's never done it before. Sunghoon's lips are warm and soft and unimaginably perfect, they fit against Jay's in a way that is so _right_ that it barely makes any sense at all. In fact, very little makes sense in that moment, and as they deepen the kiss and Jay feels himself falling further and further into it, he finds himself wrapping his arms tighter around Sunghoon and pulling him impossibly closer, as close as he can with Sunghoon's hands still fisted into his shirt.

They pull away and Jay get's a single, short glance at Sunghoon's face - cheeks red, lips shiny and swollen, eyes cloudy and starry all at once - before the younger buries his face into Jay's right shoulder and weakly punches his fist into his left.

"You," _punch_ , "are such," _punch_ , "an idiot," _punch_ , "Jay Park!"

Jay's in a bit of a daze really, so he pretty much just stands there and let's it happen. Sue him, he's still processing what just happened, mostly because _he just kissed Park Sunghoon - w_ ait no, _Park Sunghoon kissed_ ** _him_** _! And Jay kissed him back!_

"How long?" Sunghoon says, voice accusatory, and Jay breaks out of his stupor. "How long, Jay Park?" Sunghoon reiterates, leaning forward and poking a finger against Jay's chest. Jay holds back a laugh because Sunghoon looks just like a little kid on a playground accusing their friend about stealing their snacks - he's a little cuter though, at least in Jay's opinion. Then Jay sees his face, eyebrows tensed and eyes seemingly angry but with no real fire behind them, his lips pressed into a pout. Fuck.

Jay winces out a "it's been a couple of years?" Sunghoon opens his mouth and looks like he's going to yell so Jay quickly puts his arms up in surrender, "but I only really figured out a month ago, really! I promise!" He continues. And then he tenses, because hey! If Sunghoon just kissed Jay then he must have liked him this whole time too! So Jay puts down his arms and leans forward to meet Sunghoon's gaze better, "and what about you, huh? How long have you liked me and not said anything about it!"

"I've literally been hinting for the past 2 years!"

"Well, you're obviously a terrible hinter because I had no idea!"

"How is it my fault that you're dense as fuck?"

"Well, you should've known better!"

"You're an idiot, Jay."

"Well," Jay says, leaning back, and winking at the younger, "you're idiot now." 

Sunghoon just shakes his head, lips falling into a small smile, "you always were," he says, before he wraps his fingers around Jay's neck and pulls him in for another kiss.

Jay doesn't know how, but it's even better than the first one.

They stay out a little longer, wandering the streets and talking a little more about what the fuck just happens. Ultimately, they only get back to the dorm at 4:30 a.m, sneaking in as quietly as they possibly can, which is to say, not very quietly at all. They collapse together onto Sunghoon's bunk, Jay far to otired to make the journey up to his own, trying their level best to hold back their giggles. Sunghoon kisses Jay one more time, short and chaste and smiling, and Jay falls asleep with Sunghoon by his side, arms and legs intertwined, nestled under the warmth of Sunghoon's covers and the tickle of Sunghoon's hair brushing against his face.

❖❖❖

Jungwon wakes up the next morning the same way he usually does.

Ni-ki is pressed into his side, face buried into Jungwon shoulder and leg thrown over the older boy. Jungwon gently moves Ni-ki's head off of him, laughing softly as the younger boy nuzzles into his pillow, and then moves the sit up, stretching his arms over his head and working out the crick in his neck. He runs a hand through his hair, ruffling it with enough vigour to make his Sunghoon Hyung proud, before he moves to step off the bed - and then he sees it.

Jungwon's been waiting for this for a while now, having watched his two Hyung's dance around each other for well over a year now, so really the only times Jungwon can recall that make him as happy as seeing Jay and Sunghoon curled up on a bed together are 1. When Jungwon found out he'd made the ENHYPEN lineup, and 2. When Jungwon found out that Ni-ki reciprocated his feelings.

Anyway, his hyungs look dreadfully adorable right now.

Sunghoon, as he always does, looks terribly pretty, face serene and hair spread out on his pillow like a halo. Jay is less graceful, on his stomach, legs thrown over Sunghoon and face squished into Sunghoon's side, eyes half open, as usual - he's still cute, Jungwon digresses, his hyungs are always cute. They're intertwined together like thread, legs and fingers laced together, not an inch of space between them. It gives Jungwon hope that maybe the two of them finally figured out their, well, thing last night (Jungwon realizes not too long after that he is _right_ and they _did_ ).

Jungwon hastily pulls out his phone and sneakily takes a picture of his two Hyungs. He's glad the flash doesn't wake them - or anyone else - up, and when he's happy with the picture he puts it on their group chat immediately - he's sure there'll be consequences later but the pros outweigh the cons and really the picture is too cute to keep to himself. He then turns around and takes a picture of Ni-ki for good measure, because even up against all the cuteness that is Sunghoon and Jungwon cuddling, Jungwon think Ni-ki edges them out a little bit.

Jungwon glances at his hyungs one more time, smiles, and heads to breakfast.

(Then he winces, because if what he thinks has happened actually happened, then Sunghoon and Jay are going to get _The Talk_ from Heeseung next and really Jungwon wouldn't wish that on his worst enemy. Well, who knows? Maybe they won't get it because they're older. Unfortunately, given Heeseung's overprotective tendencies and his compulsive need to micromanage everything, he's fairly sure that won't happen.

Well, as long as it's not him this time.)

**Author's Note:**

> i dropped literally all my fics to finish this off so im sorry if you guys were waiting for updates on my other works🥺 this prompt was just too cute and i couldn't not yk??? anyway the rest of my fics are going be updated hella soon!!! I should have growing pains finished up by the end of november and also have the next chapter of entropy and midnight rendezvous :)
> 
> i also really wanna write a wonki follow up because they're genuinely thriving right now they're so cute it's ilLEgaL!!!!


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